


Somewhere We Belong

by frantic65



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 23:12:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1705988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frantic65/pseuds/frantic65
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ennis tries to grant a request.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere We Belong

He’d always loved making plans. 

From the day I met him, right up until---

Well, he was always trying to find a way to get his way. 

I remember one camping trip we took in the early days, maybe two, three years after he come looking for me. 

It was late spring, April I think, and it was unseasonable warm for the mountains. We had decided to move our bedrolls outside ‘cause the tent was too hot and smelled like a combination of dirty feet and sweaty ass. 

I was never too picky about grooming when we camped, but neither one of us needed a constant reminder of just how ripe we got.

So, we were laying there just looking up at the clear night sky, pointing out stars and such. Talking ‘bout not much of anything. Well, he was talking like usual, and I just liked to drift there listening to the sound of his voice.

Sometimes he would nudge me, making sure I hadn’t fallen asleep on him, but I never did. He always had the best stories to tell. Mostly bullshit, but that didn’t matter none to me. We usually ended up laughing and fucking the night away; a little slice of heaven I got to sample a couple times a year. 

Anyway, on this particular evening, he seemed to grow more nostalgic as the night wore on, and the whiskey loosened his tongue more than ever. Something had been bothering him since we’d met up earlier in the week, and as our time together grew shorter, he seemed to get more and more anxious.

I knew that sooner or later it’d come out. Jack was never one to keep his thoughts to himself. Sure enough, he shuffled closer to me as the bottle of rot gut whiskey grew emptier, and I welcomed him as I was wont to do once darkness had fallen silently on the mountain.

“Ennis?” his tone was unusually hesitant, and I felt myself tense. Often when Jack was the most shit-faced, he would start talking about what a sweet life we’d have if we shacked up together; a pipe dream that he could never quite shake.

“Mmmm?” I was nuzzling my nose in his hair, enjoying his smell, so musky and different from the baby shampoo scent favored by Alma for her and my girls. We had been silently necking next to the dying campfire, and I was starting to think about moving on to some serious fucking, but I knew whatever was on his mind wasn’t going to go nowhere ‘til it come out his mouth and into my ears.

“Ennis, you ever make a New Year’s Resolution?” He bared his throat to me as he asked, and I answered by nipping my way closer to his Adam’s apple.

“Whut you mean? Them promises people make to lose weight, stop smoking, stuff like that?” I was puzzled since it was nowhere near the first of the year, but sometimes Jack’s mind worked different than most folks.

“Well, yeah, but I mean a real resolution. Something that really means something; like a plan almost.” By now, his fingers were absently stroking through my hair, and I felt his lips press against the top of my head.

“Can’t say as I have much time for such foolishness, Jack. Don’t need to lose weight, ain’t gonna quit smoking, don’t have much use for plans.” His fingers stilled in my hair, and I heard his deep sigh. I felt guilty at being so blunt, but Jack would walk around with his head in the clouds twenty-four and seven if he could. He didn’t realize how cruel and dangerous life would be for two men like us being together the way he dreamed.

“I know you ain’t like me that way, Ennis.” Jack spoke sadly, but he moved his head back further, holding me tight against him as I crawled on top of him and straddled his hips. 

I paused and looked him in the eye, cupping his face in my palms. “It’s ok, Bud. Go ‘head and tell me. Just ‘cause I don’t believe in making resolutions myself, don’t mean I don’t want to hear yours.” 

He smiled at me in that way he had, and all thoughts of continuing that conversation were put on hold until much later that night.

We were lying naked, protected from the slight mountain chill by a thin, plaid blanket. I was comfortable and sated, at peace in a way that only happened when I was with him.

He rolled onto his side, resting his cheek on his hand, watching me silently, eyes shadowed by the flickering flames of the campfire. 

“Somewhere we belong.” He said it quietly, and I knew he was picking up the thread of our earlier conversation. 

“Where?”

“Don’t know where, but it’s what I resolve to find each and every Happy Fucking New Year.” He flopped down onto his back, staring wistfully at the stars. “Someplace with whiskey springs, where bluebirds sing. Fucking stupid idea, I know.”

I sat up and leaned over him, a sudden chill permeating my bones. “Don’t say that, Jack. You’re not stupid; kind of a dreamer maybe,” I bent closer and kissed him roughly, “but I like you that way.” 

He pressed a hand to the back of my head, trapping my lips against his, and we never mentioned his New Year’s Resolution again. 

Many years later, when it was much, much too late, I heard a heartbreakingly similar phrase coming from the cold, bitter lips of his frigid bitch of a wife, spoken like she was reading me her shopping list across the miles.

Jack was beyond her reach by then. Beyond her reach and mine, too.

But I never forgot, and I never gave up trying to help him keep his resolution. 

And finally, one day, many years after he was lost to me, I was able to reclaim his earthly remains.

And although it’s not quite the way either of us imagined it would play out, I will keep him safe until I can join him.

Somewhere we belong.


End file.
